So, we live in a free society. This is roughly supposed to mean we can make choices about what we do and how we go about doing it. Yet, being part of a group can make it much more difficult to exercise that freedom.
At the moment I am spending a few weeks with my family away from home. They keep asking me what I would like to do for the day. However, when I state my choice, faces are pulled, negative or dismissive comments are made, or it's all subtly ignored, and so, too many times, I end up with a fake change of mind that only results in avoiding external conflict. Still, the conflict does remain, only is not externalised, it stays within me. I end up being in conflict with myself.
At the moment I am spending a few weeks with my family away from home. They keep asking me what I would like to do for the day. However, when I state my choice, faces are pulled, negative or dismissive comments are made, or it's all subtly ignored, and so, too many times, I end up with a fake change of mind that only results in avoiding external conflict. Still, the conflict does remain, only is not externalised, it stays within me. I end up being in conflict with myself.
This morning I also read this article on the experience of three Muslim women who decided to unveil at some point in their lives and how that choice was made and has affected them.
It all made me reflect on how I go about influencing others to do what I think must be done. Am I really convincing them or are they coming along to avoid conflict / to please me?
Providing choices needs to come with the unconditional acceptance of the choice(s) made. Surely some (or many) times we will disagree with decisions made by others. We will also feel like saying: “told you so!” when mistakes are made. But true freedom has to come with respect and trust. It also has to come with an acknowledgment of possible disappointment and the unreserved will to support those to whom we provide with choices.
Experiencing this somewhat pretend freedom in the last few days has made me realise I have to be conscious of how genuinely I go about providing choices to my students in their learning journey.
I want to believe that this simple uncomfortable experience will help me become a better educator as I truly support the choices people under my care make, whatever the consequences.
It all made me reflect on how I go about influencing others to do what I think must be done. Am I really convincing them or are they coming along to avoid conflict / to please me?
Providing choices needs to come with the unconditional acceptance of the choice(s) made. Surely some (or many) times we will disagree with decisions made by others. We will also feel like saying: “told you so!” when mistakes are made. But true freedom has to come with respect and trust. It also has to come with an acknowledgment of possible disappointment and the unreserved will to support those to whom we provide with choices.
Experiencing this somewhat pretend freedom in the last few days has made me realise I have to be conscious of how genuinely I go about providing choices to my students in their learning journey.
I want to believe that this simple uncomfortable experience will help me become a better educator as I truly support the choices people under my care make, whatever the consequences.